During a Cranio-sacral Therapy session, a single mother of one who had gone through a bad divorce, expressed quite firmly that she didn't want or need support from friends and family. She wanted to be self-sufficient for her and her daughter.
Tuning in, she certainly had a strong, powerful system that echoed her words. Her sacrum went into a gentle unwinding and settled into a lovely rhythm. Our sacrum is at the heart of the pelvic field of the body and is considered to be the site of crystalized energy and of life force held in reserve (Sills, 2001). However, there were also layers of pain and sadness in the patient's system that had not or could not be expressed fully. Possibly as a result of this and other events in her life, her heart space or heart centre was very quiet and protected. Traditionally the heart centre is considered to uphold the right to feel, express and resolve emotions (Sherwood 2005). The heart centre also helps with our interactions with other people and our interconnectedness with the universe.
We all have protective mechanisms to help us deal with pain, trauma, loss, anger, etc. and our bodies will always try to revert to a state where we feel safe and protected. But we can't go it alone. Moments of solitude are beneficial but prolonged periods of isolation and detachment can have negative effects on our physical, mental and emotional health – this is how solitary confinement in prisons can have such efficient but damaging effects. Building a tribe or group of people that you can interact with can be very helpful. It may be community groups – book clubs, swimming groups or choirs, support groups, dance or drama classes, therapists, etc. You may not realise how much you need support from others until you are supported by others.
For many years, I have been happy in my story of having middle-child syndrome and being content to plod along by myself but essentially, I need my tribe. I need that group of people who I can bounce ideas off of, who make me laugh, who send me words of wisdom at just the right moment, who make me really question my choices, who make delicious orange marmalade, who show me how freeing it is to cry, who are willing to support me when I come up with the wildest ideas, who see the best in me when I fail to see it in myself.
To everyone who has been, is or will be in my tribe – thank you.
Sherwood, Keith (2005) Chakra Healing and Karmic Awareness. Llewellyn Worldwide
Sills, Franklyn. (2001) Craniosacral Biodynamics: The Primal Midline and the Organization of the Body. North Atlantic Books