Reclaiming Female Sensuality

We are all sensual beings, this is evident in the language we use – ‘a sight for sore eyes’, ‘hard ears’, ‘heart-warming’. Sensuality is ‘the enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure’ or ‘the condition of being pleasing or fulfilling to the senses.’ The terms sensuality and sexuality are often used interchangeably however, sexuality refers to our ability to experience and express our sexual feelings. Our sensual experiences do not have to involve sexual activities, but we cannot have sexual experiences without sensuality.

Sensuality connects us with our senses and our sensory organs – sight, taste, touch, hearing, smell and affects the way in which we perceive the world and how we are perceived. As we can see, being in tune with and expressing our sensuality may involve far more than just sex or sexual experiences. It is about connecting us with our bodies, our emotions, our memories, and with our truest expressions of self. If you think back to one of your earliest memories, it will probably include at least one sensation that evokes strong emotions. It might be the smell of coconuts as your grandmother baked sweetbread which in turn, makes you feel a warmth of love for her. Our busy schedules and daily commitments can sometimes leave us disconnected from our senses. Doing things on autopilot means we are often not engaged with everything or everyone around us or fully aware of how we feel. Also, because of the way sensuality and sexuality are used synonymously, there is often a feeling of shame or embarrassment when discussing sensuality, particularly for women who, in some cultures, have only begun to explore either topic in recent history. Reclaiming our sensuality could have profound benefits for our health and well-being.

Our senses are controlled by our nervous system or more specifically the cranial nerves. The 12 cranial nerves originating in the brain are responsible for our sensory perception, as well as regulation of the heart, lungs and digestion, and the female reproductive organs and orgasm. Stress, anxiety and other emotional imbalances can affect the way our nervous system functions. For example, altering something as important as the way we taste and process food. Eating is a very sensual experience that begins when we see or simply think about food. Taste cells are found on the tongue (taste buds) and throughout the digestive tract. Stress may therefore affect the types of food we crave and the way in which the food is digested. When we crave the taste of sweet or fatty foods or notice bloating, it may indicate we are experiencing higher levels of stress than normal and may need to review our diet or self-care routine.

Our senses provide us with a form of protection. We have all experienced that feeling of being startled and your heart races and breathing rate increases. What we may not be acutely aware of is that our digestion also slows down and levels of cortisol (a stress hormone) increase. This ‘fight or flight’ response is a perfectly normal, primal reaction to a perceived threat, but it becomes problematic when we are unable to correctly identify a ‘perceived threat’ and when the response is sustained long after the threat has gone. For example, for someone who has had a traumatic experience in the past, the sound of shouting or banging may trigger a ‘fight or flight’ response and long term, this may lead to cardiovascular disorders, digestive issues or pain and inflammation from dysfunctional cortisol levels, and emotional disorders.

Scientists have also proposed that women are more likely to employ another technique in stressful situations which is ‘tend and befriend’. Although both responses involve sensual experiences, the ‘tend and befriend’ response is geared towards nurturing and reaching out to others for protection. Furthermore, it is suggested that during the ‘tend and befriend’ response, levels of the hormone oxytocin increase and counter the negative effect of cortisol, promoting feelings of relaxation and improving social interactions. Being fully engaged in a conversation, hugging, thinking about others affectionately, or expressing feelings of love may increase the production of oxytocin. In this way, our sensuality is a nourishing, heartfelt and full body experience.

A key element of reclaiming our sensuality is ensuring that our needs are being met, particularly in our wellness journey. Polycystic ovarian syndrome, endometriosis, fibroids, aggressive breast and ovarian cancers, cardiovascular disease and diabetes are just some of the health issues disproportionately affecting women of African descent, throughout the diaspora. Women with these conditions may experience a great deal of pain, fear or helplessness. Some women may be misdiagnosed or have their conditions overlooked, all of which can be physically and emotionally draining. ‘I need to be heard. I need to be seen. I need to be held’. When these seemingly basic needs are met, we may feel more empowered and better able to deal with our health issues. Creating a supportive network of friends, doctors and holistic practitioners is vital in helping us reclaim and maintain our sensuality.

Exploring our sensuality can have major physical and emotional health benefits, such as stress relief and identifying triggers of anxiety. It may improve our relationship with ourselves and our friends and family. It may enhance our sexuality. Most importantly, exploring our sensuality allows us to identify when we feel well, so we know when something doesn’t feel right and we need to seek help. Sensuality is about having experiences that bring enjoyment and doing the things that feel right for you. Hugging or expressing feelings of love may fill some people with absolute dread but the list of options for daily sensual experiences is as extensive as your imagination - dance, sing, laugh, eat a range of colourful fruits and vegetables, have a holistic treatment, watch the sun rise or set, talk with a friend, moisturise your skin attentively, wear your favourite perfume or scent. It’s time to get back to you.

Originally featured in Better Health Magazine